Equality is a myth

Well said Sister Bucko! Somehow I knew you'd be the one to take this blog's virginity. For the rest of you I'm Matty the Damned the other member of the unholy trinity that has conspired to bring you this newest (and possibly most important) contribution to the blogosphere.

Seeing as it's Manifesto Mania here at The Spin Cycle, I've decided to continue the habits of a lifetime and be completely unoriginal and derivative. They say that imitation is the sincerest form of flattery well, it's a whole hell of a lot easier too.

I was going through some old papers the other day like a starving possum rummaging through a garbage bin when I encountered some propaganda from a radical queer movement called Homocult - Perverters of Culture. It's so much better than the effete crap put about by the dreary old queens from Queer Nation. So here it is.

A Manifesto

We are coming for you.

We shall sodomize your sons, emblems of your feeble masculinity, of your
shallow dreams and vulgar lies. We shall seduce them in your schools, in
your dormitories, in your gymnasiums, in your locker rooms, in your
sports arenas, in your seminaries, in your youth groups, in your movie
theater bathrooms, in your army bunkhouses, in your truck stops, in your
all male clubs, in your houses of Congress, wherever men are with men
together. Your sons shall become our minions and do our bidding. They
will be recast in our image. They will come to crave and adore us.

Women, you cry for freedom. You say you are no longer satisfied with men;
they make you unhappy. We, connoisseurs of the masculine face, the
masculine physique, shall take your men from you then. We will amuse
them; we will instruct them; we will embrace them when they weep. Women,
you say you wish to live with each other instead of with men. Then go and
be with each other. We shall give your men pleasures they have never
known because we are foremost men too, and only one man knows how to
truly please another man; only one man can understand the depth and
feeling, the mind and body of another man.

All laws banning homosexual activity will be revoked. Instead,
legislation shall be passed which engenders love between men.
All homosexuals must stand together as brothers; we must be united
artistically, philosophically, socially, politically and financially. We
will triumph only when we present a common face to the vicious
heterosexual enemy.

If you dare to cry faggot, fairy, queer, at us, we will stab you in your
cowardly hearts and defile your dead, puny bodies.

We shall write poems of the love between men; we shall stage plays in
which man openly caresses man; we shall make films about the love between
heroic men which will replace the cheap, superficial, sentimental,
insipid, juvenile, heterosexual infatuations presently dominating your
cinema screens. We shall sculpt statues of beautiful young men, of bold
athletes which will be placed in your parks, your squares, your plazas.
The museums of the world will be filled only with paintings of graceful,
naked lads.

Our writers and artists will make love between men fashionable and de
rigueur, and we will succeed because we are adept at setting styles. We
will eliminate heterosexual liaisons through usage of the devices of wit
and ridicule, devices which we are skilled in employing.

We will unmask the powerful homosexuals who masquerade as heterosexuals.
You will be shocked and frightened when you find that your presidents and
their sons, your industrialists, your senators, your mayors, your
generals, your athletes, your film stars, your television personalities,
your civic leaders, your priests are not the safe, familiar, bourgeois,
heterosexual figures you assumed them to be. We are everywhere; we have
infiltrated your ranks. Be careful when you speak of homosexuals because
we are always among you; we may be sitting across the desk from you; we
may be sleeping in the same bed with you.

There will be no compromises. We are not middle-class weaklings. Highly
intelligent, we are the natural aristocrats of the human race, and
steely-minded aristocrats never settle for less. Those who oppose us will
be exiled.

We shall raise vast private armies, as Mishima did, to defeat you. We
shall conquer the world because warriors inspired by and banded together
by homosexual love and honor are invincible as were the ancient Greek
soldiers.

The family unit-spawning ground of lies, betrayals, mediocrity, hypocrisy
and violence--will be abolished. The family unit, which only dampens
imagination and curbs free will, must be eliminated. Perfect boys will be
conceived and grown in the genetic laboratory. They will be bonded
together in communal setting, under the control and instruction of
homosexual savants.

All churches who condemn us will be closed. Our only gods are handsome
young men. We adhere to a cult of beauty, moral and esthetic. All that is
ugly and vulgar and banal will be annihilated. Since we are alienated
from middle-class heterosexual conventions, we are free to live our lives
according to the dictates of the pure imagination. For us too much is not
enough.

The exquisite society to emerge will be governed by an elite comprised of
gay poets. One of the major requirements for a position of power in the
new society of homoeroticism will be indulgence in the Greek passion. Any
man contaminated with heterosexual lust will be automatically barred from
a position of influence. All males who insist on remaining stupidly
heterosexual will be tried in homosexual courts of justice and will
become invisible men.

We shall rewrite history, history filled and debased with your
heterosexual lies and distortions. We shall portray the homosexuality of
the great leaders and thinkers who have shaped the world. We will
demonstrate that homosexuality and intelligence and imagination are
inextricably linked, and that homosexuality is a requirement for true
nobility, true beauty in a man.

We shall be victorious because we are fueled with the ferocious
bitterness of the oppressed who have been forced to play seemingly bit
parts in your dumb, heterosexual shows throughout the ages. We too are
capable of firing guns and manning the barricades of the ultimate
revolution.

Tremble, hetero swine, when we appear before you without our masks.

Truly, these are Words to Live By. I am a fervent promoter of the Homosexual Agenda.

Oh, and another thing. Feedback and commentary of any kind is welcomed here at the Cycle, however, right wingers, fundamentalist christian freaks, gay accountants and apologists for the heterosexual majority, uppity breeders and the like are warned: You are not as clever as you think you are. So don't be surprised if you get thoroughly bastinadoed for your foolishness. This place is controlled by the Gay Left and we laugh at you.

IN SOLIDARITY,

MtD