Better Your Own Than a Stranger

As I stroll through the streets I am often stopped by citizens who all me ask the same thing,

'Matty the Damned, what is the basis of your completely understandable loathing of the vile heterosexist oppressor? Is it the physical act of heterosexual intercourse that offends you so?'

When last asked this question I smiled indulgently, gathered my adoring interlocutors around and patiently explained that the breeder act was not in and of itself offensive but the outrageous degree of privilege accorded to the practitioners of this banal behaviour that provokes my righteous ire.

That evening, when I had settled down in my darkened study with glass of absinthe in one hand, a copy of The One Hundred and Twenty Days of Sodom in the other and a brace of Rottweilers seething at my feet I gave deeper thought to the vexed question of heterosexual congress.

Of course my mind was not troubled for long as the answer was plain before me in the fevered, syphilitic scribblings of the Marquis de Sade. Heterosexual intercourse was acceptable (even vaguely admirable) if it occurred within an incestuous paradigm and so it is in this offering that I would share with you some thoughts on the Game the Whole Family can Play.

Now before we proceed, I wish to point out that I am not talking about mucking around with your cousins. This is a common place practice we have all enjoyed. Do not think that I give any pervert credibility to those who indulge themselves in a good old fashioned cousin-pokin', corn-pipe smokin' hillbilly fuck-fest. Cousin fucking is a rite of passage but nothing special.

Humankind has a strong and honourable tradition of incest. As we know it was a particular passion of the Egyptian nobility. In the religious traditions of that ancient race, the deities Isis and Osiris were brother and sister and husband and wife. This was emulated by the royal houses of that culture. Pharaohs often married and bred with their siblings in an attempt to protect the royal lineage from contamination with tainted common blood. The Crowned Heads of Europe have centuries of cousin marrying heritage. Of particular note was the depraved union of Queen Victoria and Prince Albert the Good.

According to my favoured reading of history, the esteemed Roman Emperor Caligula famously impregnated his sister Drusilla, deified and renamed her Panthea before cutting the sprog from her living womb and eating it. It seems that the eccentric monarch believed himself to be Saturn at the time and like that terrible deity he felt that eating the fetus would save his throne from being usurped. Alas the fair Panthea did not survive this rude intervention in her pregnancy.

But before the more delicate readers out there protest their horror at this subject let me say this. If you were breastfed then you too are marked with the stain of mother-child incest. We must acknowledge the erotic aspect of the act of nursing. I myself was not suckled given that I was born with (amongst other things) a set of fully formed fangs. No sane woman would allow me near that tender part of her anatomy. I am told several wet nurses screamed and swooned with horror upon seeing me. One, gripped with insanity, went so far as to blind herself lest she should ever see something so horrific again. A wise woman indeed.

I maintain that brother-sister incest (step siblings need not apply here) is the ultimate expression of the heterosexual act. It perverts and corrupts the odious institution of family, offends the proscriptive laws of the moral state and gives rise to the possibility of deformed and monstrous off-spring. This is something that all of you who are cursed with heterosexual desires should aspire to. But what if you have no opposite gender siblings? Never fear, gentle reader! There is much to be said for expanding your mind with the carnal knowledge of your father or mother. What could be better than knowing the true meaning of the phrase "Daddy's little girl?"

Indeed incest is more than acceptable within the luscious realms of homosexual intercourse too. It is in this field that your correspondent is more experienced. Unfortunately my own brother is hopelessly given to the heresy of breederism so I have been unable to claim him for myself. Not to worry, in lusty days of yore I had the great pleasure of taking gorgeous identical twin boys into my bed. Shy and apprehensive at first these hearty youths soon fell upon each other and myself with great appetite and perverse intent. We three gave ourselves over to a three day orgy. I have had a special passion for twins ever since, something my good friend the Senator refers to as "stereo sodomy".

How can we know that incest is political acceptable? One indicator is the strident tones with which that prudish profession of "social workers" speak out against it. Another is the hysterical revulsion it promotes in "polite society". Incest perverts and corrupts. It attacks the very base of our society. A third is the fact that it is used by vicious heterosexual ruling class to marginalise Queers. Therefore I formally declare incest to be a legitimate Device of Queer Subversion.

As the old saying goes:

If you're not good enough for your own family, you're not good enough for mine.

IN SOLIDARITY

MtD