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Monday, August 01, 2005

Days of Unholy Obligation

It should come as no surprise to some to learn that your beloved correspondent was raised in the deeply suspect embrace of the Roman Catholic Church. Indeed this is something that I share with my sister blogger here at the Spin Cycle, Red Ronnie the Socialist Sissyfag. Fortunately our camp comrade the Lusty Bucko was not tainted by the vile stain of popery.

It was inevitable then that I would turn my flint-like gaze upon the One True Faith and the Vatican's regional manager here in the Antipodes, the Archbishop of Sydney Cardinal George Pell. You will note that the glorious visage that adorns this article is of His Eminence.

Firstly a little history. For the purposes of this missive we will look at George's career since the mid nineties. In 1996 George was appointed Archbishop of Melbourne, a position that he held until that doddering old Mary worshipper John Paul II saw fit to allow him to take possession of the See of Sydney. In 2003 (crippled by the Parkinson's Disease he so richly deserved) the late Pope elevated George to the College of Cardinals and awarded our spiritual leader a fetching red beretta. Of worthy note too is George's membership of the notorious College for the Doctrine of the Faith aka The Inquisition and his connexions with Opus Dei.

Here in Oz George has made a name for himself as a fervent warrior for the social conservative cause. In particular George rails against the ills of homosexuality. As a committed muckraker I feel it my duty to reveal to you a little known piece of the good Cardinal's history in Melbourne.

Let me preface those comments by pointing out that George has a long history of conflict with those self loathing papist poofters and dykes in the Rainbow Sash Movement. Anybody wearing a rainbow sash or who known to associate with these tedious apologists for the heterosexist majority who attempts to receive communion is by order of George rebuffed and offered a blessing instead.

Like many conservative catholics, George has always been contemptuous of the reforms introduced to the Church by the Second Vatican Council. He and his ilk favour a return to the solemn forms of Roman Catholic worship including the Veneration of the Virgin Mary, the subordination of women and the latin (or Tridentine) Mass.

An unimpeachable source who knew George when he was Archbishop of Melbourne revealed a number of fascinating things to me about His Eminence. George and his offsider at the time Bishop Denis Hart (now the Archbishop of Melbourne) had a special love of the Tridentine Mass; especially the use of latin, the chanting, the incense and the ornate clerical garb associated with it. Basically they were into frocking up and mincing about with shiny objects. In the catty circles of the catholic clergy George and Denis were commonly known as "Georgina" and "Denise" and the coterie of younger priests and monks they surrounded themselves with were bitchily referred to as "the Spice Girls".

But George's connexions with perversion don't end there. His cousin, former nun and lesbian activist Monica Hingston was so horrified with George's public homophobia that she was compelled to write a public letter to him condemning his attitudes and calling for him to reform. The full text of that letter can be viewed at this location.

It is interesting however to note that a recent study done by the Australia Institute on attitudes towards homosexuals has revealed that of Australians who hold religious beliefs Roman Catholics are the least likely to view homosexuality as immoral (34%) whereas Baptists are the most likely to hold such an opinion (68%).

So what's all the fuss about? George is the leader of Australia's largest religious community and holds enormous influence in the circles of power. He is a personal friend and confidant of the Prime Minister John Howard. He commands the largest private education and health system in Australia. Despite all of this it seems that he is unable to convince a majority of his flock that homosexuality is indeed "instrinsically disordered".

So I say to Georgina and his little mate Denise, we're onto you my loves. I'm openly declaring a Spin Cycle campaign of GeorgeWatch. As more muck and filth comes to light we will unhesitatingly share it with our adoring public.

Signing off - for now.




At Tue Aug 02, 02:41:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Bucko said...


I shall save the whole retched tale for another day, but let me remind you that I had my own run-ins with the Highest of High Episcopal church in Boston, including frequent retreats to the monastery of The Society Of St John The Evangelist in Harvard Square. Those silly old queens actually referred to themselves as "Anglo-Catholic" and were attempting a rapprochement with the Vatican. They got the wind knocked from their sails (and their funding was seriously threatened) when they squatted on the wrong side of the question of the ordination of women. Several of the Cowley Fathers and Brothers actually stomped out in a hissy fit, leaving a wake consisting of plumes of incense and the semen of alterboys.

I shall relate the whole sad saga for another day.


At Tue Aug 02, 10:36:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Ah Buckles,

Episcopalian eh? Down here we call your mob Anglicans or the Church of England. Essentially the protestants you have when you're not having a protestant.

Our Episcopalians are currently involved in an internal political deathlock between the High Church Anglo-Catholics known as the Bells and Smells and the Low Church Evangelicals known as the Uglies.

It's all very bitchy but in that refined Old Country manner of the Anglicans not like the sordid cut and thrust of the Papist Mary Worshippers.

Perhaps we need to turn our attention to the crisis in the American Church you know, the faggot bishop from New Hampshire and all that. What's her name again?



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