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Friday, July 29, 2005

You Substantiate Our Horror

Beloved minions,

I have noticed over the last 10 years or so a the development of a disturbing trend amongst my people. It has become apparent that some of my brothers (and to a lesser extent sisters) in Queerdom are starting to believe in that stain on humankind - equality.

This ridiculous notion which has seized some of the slower homosexual minds (more often than not those that were trained in "accountancy" and allied "professions") is best summed up by the continuing debate over gay marriage.

It seems that my comrades in the United States of a Miracle have been indulging themselves in a foolish exchange on this issue with the hated breeder majority. I say to them, "Stop!" It is merely an attempt by the enemy to divert our collective attention from the pressing issues we face. Poverty, disease, violence and class oppression are the matters we should be engaged in resolving. We should not waste our time arguing that two blokes and a cocker-spaniel constitute a family.

Here in Australia we have resolved this matter neatly. Commonwealth law was amended been amended to ensure that the detestable institution of property called marriage is restricted to breeder filth. Being queer is not about slavishly aping the bizarre rituals of the the lesser section of the species. It is about being freed from such bonds. It is about forming our relationships on new terms in which we respect and honour ourselves, our lovers and our people in general not bind ourselves and our love to property. Frankly, seeing two dykes debase themselves and their kind at a "civil union" ceremony makes me sick.

All forms of marriage should be abolished. It is very simple. In this way we can protect the Queer principles and break the legacy of privilege that has been built up by the heterosexist elite.

At this point I must say that until recently even I, your fabulous correspondent, was duped into supporting this marriage rubbish albeit reluctantly. In another place I said things suggesting that we should have the same legal rights as hets. Fortunately a Wise Old Queer took me aside and gently disabused me of this notion with the immortal words "Don't join the fuckwits darling - remember the Principles". I was suitably chastened and enlightened and I withdraw those ill chosen and misguided comments.

However brothers and sisters, gay marriage is merely a symptom of the deeper malaise with which we struggle. Now that my ideological purity is restored I would like to turn my attention to the growing dominance of the moderate "lesbigay" traitors.

Comrades, I grow increasingly weary of visiting our public haunts only to find them populated with mindless legions of twinks, clones and the Queer Eye for the Straight Guy audience and hearing them chattering endlessly about investment portfolios, designer trousers and that delightful little terrace in Surry Hills.

Don't get me wrong. This is not a rant against being a mincing faggot, quite the contrary. I have no problem with the swishes, nancy bois and fairies. I have more than a large streak of the sissyfag in me. I walk with a graceful gait and have the well enunciated tones of the modern homo. In my opinion the more fey and limp wristed you are the better.

No, what I'm angry about is the moderate "lesbigays" who seem to think that the fight has ended simply because they can watch endless repeats of Will and Grace in the comfort and treacherous privacy of their "McMansions".

I'm sorry but just because you're young, dumb and full of cum and you've told mummy that you like sucking cock doesn't mean you've made a meaningful contribution to your people.

However, as usual Matty the Damned has your salvation at hand. It's my job to tell you how fucked you are but I have a corresponding responsibility to give you the solution too. The following was first published around ten years ago, but it is relevant today. Without further delay I give you:

Chipper's Guide to Being a Gay Man in the 90's

1. Act Straight.

2. Go to the Gym twice a week. Alternatively, buy a Soloflex. Restrict exercises exclusively to those which build upper body muscle tone.

3. If you're circumcised, get your dick fixed.

4. Date only men who look as good as you. This will encourage others to aspire to your high standards.

5. Lie about your age if you are over 23 years old.

6. Purchase Calvin Klein underwear and wear it often.

7. Consider a body waxing.

8. Buy records and tapes by artists who are rumoured to be gay, but haven't come out. Share the rumours with your gay friends to spice up conversation on social occasions. Also, buy Donna Sommer records.

9. Purchase exclusively those fashion, entertainment, alcohol, tobacco, and travel-related products which are advertised or featured in the pages of "Out", "10 Percent", "Genre", "The Advocate" and similar publications. Avoid contact with persons not doing likewise.

10. When on the receiving end of a homophobic epithet or hate-speech, such as "All Fucking Faggots Should Die!", ignore the perpetrator, and act as though you didn't hear it.

11. Observe the AIDS crisis carefully. Avoid giving lesbigays a bad image by participating in an embarrassing protest against governmental or commercial neglect of the health crisis. Wear a red ribbon instead, as it is far more dignified, and doesn't risk giving lesbigays a bad image. If you get AIDS you needn't increase your participation in such activism. Why bother if you're going to die soon anyway? If you are HIV-, pepper your conversation with references to the friends you know sick or dead from AIDS, to draw attention to your red ribbon.

12. Tell your boss you are gay only after proving to her/him you are a valuable employee.

13. Don't come out of the closet until you have a mastery of guidelines #1-12.

14. Load a .57 Magnum with one bullet, point it at your face, and pull the trigger.

I trust I've made myself clear.

IN SOLIDARITY

MtD

25 Comments:

At Fri Jul 29, 11:18:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger David said...

This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

 
At Fri Jul 29, 11:27:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger David said...

Mattie...my love. You must have a fever. Aside from the obvious reasons for wanting Gay marriages (guys and gals just wanna get hitched) some Americans and others are fighting for Gay Marriages because they wish to have the same benefits accorded to them like insurance, tax breaks and many other little oddities that hetrosexual unions enjoy. I do agree that our enemies are seeking to divide and conquer us thru the media. Let em have Mattie. But I for one enjoy old Will & Grace shows late at night. I'm sticking my tongue at you and wagging it vigorously....Can you feel it? Love ya Mattie....keep stirring the pot. Here in America...it takes a village to make Shit-soup!

 
At Fri Jul 29, 01:08:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Hi ya Davey,

Americans and others are fighting for Gay Marriages because they wish to have the same benefits accorded to them like insurance, tax breaks and many other little oddities that hetrosexual unions enjoy.

Precisely my point dear. Marriage is about property not love or personal relatioships. It is a device used by breeder scum to entrench themselves into a position of privilege and to oppress us.

The means of ending this oppression lies in abolishing marriage and other exploitative social institutions - not imitating them.

Queers who call for "gay marriage" are either deluded which is forgiveable and can be corrected or worse, they are traitors to their people.

Fondly,

MtD

 
At Fri Jul 29, 04:18:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger David said...

The institution of Marriage is not going anywhere, Mattie. Nuptials have been around since the dawn of civilization. I understand that you personally have chosen to remain free in order to avail yourself of whatever morsel might be tempting at the time. Some of us (and you missed the main purpose for marriage)are quite willing to commit ourselves to a relationship with one person. One lover. One confidant. Don't be so quick to toss out something that might actually prevent society as a whole from going off the deep end. I don't consider myself a traitor because I believe in commitment. Perhaps final judgement should be left to those who are wiser than we.

 
At Fri Jul 29, 04:21:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger David said...

Let's agree to disagree. From my point of view, it doesn't really matter anymore...the man I wanted to marry and who wanted to marry me is gone now. I bow to the great and all powerful OZ.

 
At Fri Jul 29, 05:24:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Davey,

This isn't about one's ability to have that relationship. It's about whether or not you need a piece of paper from a preacher and the state outlining your tax advantages. Was your relationship with David really of any lesser quality because the heterosexist hordes "denied" you the right to marry?

Commitment and fidelity are not given to us by the state my love. You can construct whatever sort of relationship you like without their permission.

MtD

 
At Sat Jul 30, 01:52:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous DADDY said...

Well Matty, You definately have a way with words. I think you are spot on with much of what you said, and then you place this inane list of things at the bottom of the page that might have been interesting coming from someone else, but my dear, far below your capability.

First off, if you can get number one down, and do it well; it then negates 2 through 13 and then leaves #14 as the ultimate resolution to attempting to do #1.

WhaaaaaaaaaaaT?????????????

Sorry, I really didn't get the connection. Or....... maybe I did.

At any rate, thank you for the expose of the obvious, and for letting "Improperly Toilet Trained Faggots" off so easy, you are going to be disciplined with sincere, and intense feeling.

Now would you please go to your room and tie your ball sack back and up through the crack of your ass, and up to your neck, now, with speed and force, reach down and touch your toes. One half hour will do for a start.

This is just a small taste of what is going to cum to you.

Keep trying.

 
At Sat Jul 30, 02:24:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous Ex-gay said...

Amen Matty.

1. Together we can build a coalition to stop gay marriage where it isnt yet an equal right for homosexuals and have it rescinded where its already legal.

2. Against wars? Shouldn’t we be working to stop them? Let’s start by keeping homosexuals out of the military. Homosexuals served in ancient Greece and look what happened to that civilization.

3. So what have we to offer gay youth in exchange for the freedoms their straight peers enjoy that they don't? Let’s rebuild Jonestown and rivive it as a destination for disillusioned gay teens.

In right/left solidarity,
Ex-gay

"I'll walk over you if you walk over me"

 
At Sat Jul 30, 02:31:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Bucko said...

OOOOOOOOOOOooo!

Methinks someone seems to have lost perspective and cannot see the forest for the tree shoved up her Exodus Ass.

Bisous,
B

 
At Sat Jul 30, 03:12:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous daddy said...

See, when you don't speak clearly, and do it with authority, then all kinds of crap floats to the top.

Mr/Miss Ex Gay, is becoming terribly excited by your posting, and that is not the kind of writing that you are capable of. You are really working on some forceful discipline, and we don't want any Ex's in the audience when this happens. Waaay too much bad karma.

Shame on you EX, you shouldn't be trolling this site, when you can find far better and nastier stuff in the Books of The Apostle Paul. What a Queen he was. Specificly read about the church in Galtia, that was sponsoring orgies after Wednesday night prayer meeting. And, the church elders were passing around the finest bitches in the house.

ARRRRGGH, will the insanity never end??????????

 
At Sat Jul 30, 03:56:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Luis Blasini said...

Okay..I got me gun!!

 
At Sat Jul 30, 10:13:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Well dip me in Crisco and throw me to the Leathermen!

It appears that the midnight express from Self-Loathing Central has arrived and who should step out of the First Class Carriage? An Ex-Gay! A real live one!

We here at the Spin Cycle have an intense interest in the workings and activities of the Ex-Gay movement and we are very keen to talk with current or former Ex-Gays.

So to our "cured" correspondent or any other saved soul out there we would invite you to contact us via email at:

spin_cycle_blog@yahoo.com

See if you can turn our pretty heads!

MtD

 
At Sat Jul 30, 10:38:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Now Daddy, Chipper's Guide is many things but it cannot in all fairness be described as inane. It dovetailed very neatly with my article I think.

However, I'm pleased to see that I am still scheduled for an extended stay in your dungeon. The very thought of you mentioning my ball sack causes me to have such lusty thoughts!

Love

MtD

 
At Sat Jul 30, 02:45:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous charles said...

matty,

to my knowledge the gay marriage equality movement has made no mention of mandatory or arranged gay marriages. so, if you don't want to get married, you won't have to. why stand in the way of others who want to. It strikes me as imperious and arrogant on your part. and god/dess knows we already get way too much of that from heterosexuals.

 
At Sat Jul 30, 09:55:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Hi Charles,

Thanks for sharing your comments! Let's have a look at some of them shall we?

to my knowledge the gay marriage equality movement has made no mention of mandatory or arranged gay marriages. so, if you don't want to get married, you won't have to.

But there cetainly is overwhelming pressure from the lesbigay establishment to support gay marriage. So much so that until recently even I, a radical queer, grudgingly accepted it as a notion of "equal rights".

In reality gay marriage is partly a smoke screen to distract us from the real issues we face and also an attempt by the self loathing gay moderates to make queers "more acceptable" to the breeder majority.

why stand in the way of others who want to. It strikes me as imperious and arrogant on your part. and god/dess knows we already get way too much of that from heterosexuals.

Oh dear. As I said in the article, marriage is about property not the beauty of a relationship between people. I don't believe that we should structure our society based on the notion that our interpersonal relationships are purely about property.

Whether it is hetero filth or queers who believe that their relationships should grant them special financial standing in the community is an irrelevance. It is ideologically unacceptable and must be struggled against.

As I have said before, queers who support gay marriage are traitors to their people.

Thanks for stopping by and come back soon!

MtD

 
At Sun Jul 31, 12:50:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous Ex-gay said...

Sir,

You’re dodging. When the vote comes up to amend the “law” to permit gay marriages there will be two choices for the citizen marking his ballot, YES or NO. You and I will be voting NO. Am I correct, or will you be joining the civil rights movement.

Self loathing – very much so, but not alone, because you’ll be in my carriage, NO?

Sincerely,
Back to Midnight

 
At Sun Jul 31, 01:20:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Dear Ex-Gay,

Clearly you didn't read my blog. I will not be voting in any "ballot" on this issue. My country has already resolved this matter in law.

But you are correct in one sense. I oppose the concept of marriage for anyone.

We are still keen to discuss the finer points of the ex-gay movement with you. On behalf of the Spin Cycle I would invited you once again to contact us on:

spin_cycle_blog@yahoo.com

All confidences will be respected.

MtD

 
At Sun Jul 31, 01:40:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous ex-gay said...

I repeat,

and if there was a ballot in your country, YES or NO?

(This is a fine point)

 
At Sun Jul 31, 02:16:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

I repeat,

and if there was a ballot in your country, YES or NO?

(This is a fine point)


My my! Such a forward little former faggot! I am happy to answer your question.

If there was a ballot in my country on the question of extending marriage to gays I would cheerfully vote NO.

MtD

 
At Sun Jul 31, 04:49:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous ex-gay said...

(Sniff, sniff). Matty, you smell like mothballs. Have you been in the closet again?

The carriage going backwards will be leaving the station as you mentioned, in darkness. Right wing, ex-gay and short sighted radical faerie (who can't see the forest for the trees) voters will all have reserved seats. Don't worry, all compartments are provided with closets. We have your ticket.

We’re moving ahead with Jonestown II (retreat for suicidal gay youth). So far we’ve lined up:

1.Free Kool-Aid donated by Opus Dei
2.A bug chaser discussing the topic, “Club ‘Meds’, How do I get there from here?”
3.Finally, we’re looking for a so called “activist” homosexual to discuss why gay civil marriage rights are a bad thing. Are you available?

 
At Sun Jul 31, 10:12:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

(Sniff, sniff). Matty, you smell like mothballs. Have you been in the closet again?

Mothballs? No honey. I'm surprised that you can smell anything over the stench of amyl and regret wafting from your corner.

But the meeting sounds great! Just forward the details of my booking and the agenda to:

spin_cycle_blog@yahoo.com

Love ya!

MtD

 
At Mon Aug 08, 03:56:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger David said...

Mattie...dirty little scoundrel that you are....How odd to find you on the side of the devil himself. You and President Bush both think gay marriages are wrong. Both of you feel empowered to rob those of us who do believe in marriage of our God given right to choose. And marriage, my dear depraved Mattie, is more than a piece of paper. It is a commitment between two people, written and declared before God. (Or higher power) Please do not presume to choose for everyone. If you do not want to acknowledge Marriage, as an institution, so be it. But don't take the choice away from those who do. We Americans don't need anyone else to rob us of our civil rights...We have President Bush and Homeland Security to do it for us.

 
At Thu Apr 17, 02:11:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger jmansk8us said...

I think the two of you are deliberately missing each others points, which turns the subject into a battle of apples and oranges. No one will "win", the subject matter will never be resolved, and the pious self-righteous types will get to look at the thread and say "Tsk tsk, the silly little faggots are in-fighting again". How about the possibility that you BOTH have valid thought processes on the subject, and could work on bridging an opinion gap that, like it or not, is very real and very damaging to the credibility of anyone on EITHER side of the issue. As I see it, both theologies have thier merits, and splitting hairs to purposely come up on opposite sides of an issue only serves to make the issue smaller, and provide some entertainigly catty dialogue. Doesnt do much to resolve the issue (or non-issue), but then maybe thats not what either of you is really trying to do?

 
At Thu Apr 17, 04:05:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Apples? Oranges? I think you're posting comments on an article which was written three years ago. Clearly you were a fuckwit then because you're a fuckwit now.

How do I know you're a fuckwit? Well you use terms like "thought processes", you can spell 'theologies' but you can't spell 'their'.

But please, do tell me more about "bridging the opinion gap", you fucking moron.

MtD

 
At Fri Nov 27, 10:23:00 PM GMT+11, Blogger sneha pa said...

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Happy new year 2016gate 2016 resultaipgmee 2016 resultget inspiredpolicy secretsgovtalertinspirational quoteshse 2 resulthse resultcbse result10 resultsslc resultchgtmmerry xmatnew xmassslc resultconvert nowg6 convertnew inageg6 eaga

 

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