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Thursday, August 16, 2007

The Way to a Boy's Heart is Through His Broken Ribs


A faggot is his own worst enemy. To know this as gospel truth one only has to spend half an hour with the most irritating of the professional victim set, gay survivors of "intimate partner violence."

Now that HIV/AIDS has become passe, gay bars are no longer edgy places for straight hipsters to be seen in and the Sydney Gay and Lesbian Mardi Gras is so dated not even Community TV will televise it, the moderate GLBTQ activists have to find something else to put on their government grant application forms.

For confirmation of this meet David. Go on, click the link. Be moved by his touching honesty. I know I was. My heart bled as surely as David's nose did when he pushed Anthony too far.

You see the neat thing about websites like the one where David, Kim, Brad, Kent, Ruth, Lisa and Adam get to "share their stories" is we only hear one side of the sordid affair. They're victims. They claim to have been abused. They must be telling the truth.

And if you dare to question them, you might as well admit to eating fillets of new born infant in whale blubber gravy whilst watching kiddie porn.

Of course what we don't get to hear about is how David was a shrieking, personality disordered, commitment phobic racist meth-whore, who didn't know when to shut the fuck up. Quite frankly if David didn't have Anthony as a convenient scapegoat, it would have been his remote, uncaring father or obsessive lush of a mother who would be the reason his life amounted to nothing. Just so long as he doesn't have to be responsible for himself.

After reading David's account of things it becomes apparent that the true crime here is not that Anthony hit David, but that Anthony didn't hit the fucker hard enough.

Of course this has given birth to yet another industry for people who graduated with degrees in cultural policy, gender studies and holistic dance. We know it's the vital, burning issue facing gays and lesbians today, because a self help book was published about it back in 1991.

Perhaps How to Dodge Punches for Dummies would be a more useful text for the modern beaten boyfriend.

Naturally there's "research" to back all this up. Some studies claim that up to 25% of lesbian relationships are violent with that figure rising to 29% for gay men. Of course the sample sizes from these learned academic papers can be counted on two hands. But someone graduated with second class honours on the strength of them, so it's proof indisputable.

And no, I'm not going to provide a reference for that. You lazy motherfuckers are going to have to google for it, like I had to.

Domestic violence in same sex relationships is not the fault of the batterers, rather it's a product of gay and lesbian people yearning to live like straight people. Our headlong rush to emulate the breeders in every shape and way has it's downside, people. Sure marriage (or civil unions even) might bring you the right to keep the house and the 401(K) when Gavin fails his last treatment option and succumbs to PML, but you also get the negatives as well.

Like a broken nose. See? You've got more in common with your valium munching mother than you might have thought.

Of course it's not all physical violence. There's emotional and mental abuse too. If your partner calls you a cunt when you humiliate him in front of your friends, he's not telling the truth. He's assaulting you. Emotionally. And you too can jump on the IPV band wagon. There's plenty of room.

One thing that all the same sex DV websites preface their tedious arguments with is that IPV is the "shameful secret of gay and lesbian communities". Really? As far as Matty the Damned can tell, lesbians don't treat abuse in their relationships as a shameful secret, rather they seem to acclaim it as an Olympic event.

Meet Denise. Current world champion for knocking your femme girlfriend out with one punch. Butch Division.

And for fags, well I suspect it's not so much a dirty secret, as a non event.

The idea that a 315lbs, 6'8" muscle bound leather man can be beaten to a pulp by a bantam weight Thai ladyboi with acrylic nails and a booze problem truly boggles the mind. Though I'd buy it if he'd been shanked by a PCP addled Puerto Rican street queen who calls himself Concepcion de la Flores.

The truth is that batterers are not the monsters the IPV weenies would have us believe them to be. They're ordinary fags and dykes like you and I and just like you and I they have their limits. And sometimes those limits are breached.

So the next time your overworked, under-appreciated partner knocks you down the stairs when you ridicule and belittle him, take the hint.

He's just trying to help you.

IN SOLIDARITY

MtD

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23 Comments:

At Thu Aug 16, 02:41:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Kelly said...

Hmmm....different perspective. I worked for years as a advocate in a shelter for victims of domestic violence. My position was to never blame the victim for the abuse. However, your post does give me something to think about.

Hugs!
Kel

 
At Thu Aug 16, 10:54:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Andy said...

It's a great post. Makes you think about things before you say you feel sorry for the victim, to analyze it from all angles. *hugs* Me misses me MtD! ;)

 
At Thu Aug 16, 11:34:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Ron Hudson said...

Good to see you posting again, Matty. Very interesting perspective. What I find amazing is the number of people who are involved in violent relationship, who escape and then hook up with another violent person fairly quickly afterwards. It happens in alcoholism too and is very sad to see happen to those you love. Until they "get it", though, no amount of external influence will stop the cycle.

 
At Sat Aug 18, 02:24:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Your comments were quite valid, and I agree. But you lost me when you said "rather it's a product of gay and lesbian people yearning to live like straight people." That I disagree with. Being violent isn't a str8 phenomenon. It sounds like you're just trying to justify or rationalize casual promiscuous sex as somehow superior to committed relationships? It's as if you're saying people who have sex with the same person more than twice have some sort of dimentia or pathology.

 
At Sun Aug 19, 08:31:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Your comments were quite valid, and I agree.

Well of course my comments are valid. This is Teh Intahnets. Everything everyone says is valid. Viva post-modernity!

But you lost me when you said "rather it's a product of gay and lesbian people yearning to live like straight people." That I disagree with. That I disagree with.

Never mind Anon. Even you can't be right all the time.

Being violent isn't a str8 phenomenon.

Nope, it isn't. But domestic violence as we understand it is. Whenever we try and transplant features of heterosexual unions into a same-sex context things go awry. An understanding of why fags and dykes beat each other senseless won't come if we try and view our relationships like breeder marriages. We're different. Get used to it.

It sounds like you're just trying to justify or rationalize casual promiscuous sex as somehow superior to committed relationships? It's as if you're saying people who have sex with the same person more than twice have some sort of dimentia or pathology.

Well that's because casual promiscuous sex is superior, though I wouldn't go so far as to characterise monogamy as a pathology. Odd? Yes. Unsatisfying? Absolutely. Disordered? Probably not.

MtD

 
At Mon Aug 20, 04:04:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Kelly said...

I just read that Matty is in the hospital. I want him to know that he is in my prayers. I hope that he gets well soon.
God Bless!
Kelly

 
At Sat Aug 25, 09:22:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Bucko said...

We love you too, Kell. Matty and I always end up bonding with the Spin Cycle commentariat.

Look for a new post soon. I'm working on one right now.

 
At Tue Aug 28, 05:13:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Sorry, but I think that you're a moron. Nothing anyone says give a excuse for someone to hit them. Period. It you hate the person talking that much, or being a racist, or whatever reason you think gives you an excuse to punch them, LEAVE THEM. Duh. Gay man dosen't like his boyfriend smoking crack, grab you shit and go. No, no, no, hit me again Ike, and put some stank on it. Fucking idiots. Oh and sorry this has to be anon, I'm not regestering for shit anymore. Ooh, do I deserve a right hook now?

 
At Sat Sep 01, 07:32:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Oh and sorry this has to be anon, I'm not regestering for shit anymore. Ooh, do I deserve a right hook now?

You deserve to beaten senseless at least twice a day.

MtD

 
At Tue Sep 11, 12:22:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Anonymous said...

You obviously havnt done your research well enough. I suggest you do some before you start blaming the victim. Maybe you could actually try reading DSMIV that talks about psychologies of individuals in situations of violence. Fuck while were at it lets sexually abouse all the children we can because if they still hang around then they want it right? I mean they couldnt be being manipulated or anything. And childhood experiences dont effect later life 'choice'. Hell if my mother beat me and my dad raped me i would never go into a situation of domestic violence, i also wouldnt take drugs or drink to try and deal with how fucked over ive been. And god if i have been in a previous relationship with someone who has treated me as a punching bag, be it eomotionally or physically, im certainly going to have the ability to not get into another relationship with someone who does the same. Hmmm maybe you should consider the idea that individuals often repeat violent relationships. Finally for those of you who 'consider' this way of thinking get the Fuck out of my community because we dont want you you ignorant fucks! Or maybe like this dickhead you should do some fucking research. I feel very sorry for anyone who you know who gets into an abusive relationship cause you will be no fucking help to them.

And for the person who has apparently work with victims of DV you obviously havnt learnt anything, and i feel sorry for anyone who works with you.

You people are just ridiculous. And i hope none of you are in a domesticlly violent relationship, becasue the people you associate with are not going to help you at all.

 
At Wed Sep 12, 07:17:00 AM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Ah Anonymous, when Matty the Damned labeled this article "Whining Cunts" he had you in mind.

You obviously havnt done your research well enough. I suggest you do some before you start blaming the victim. Maybe you could actually try reading DSMIV that talks about psychologies of individuals in situations of violence.

Research? DSM IV? Honey, what the fuck do you think this is, The Royal Society? This is a blog and I am a writer of ill considered rants and nasty polemics. I'm under no obligation to research any damn thing.

Though were I to read the DSM I suspected I would find an entire Axis devoted to moaning lesbians such as yourself.

You people are just ridiculous. And i hope none of you are in a domesticlly violent relationship, becasue the people you associate with are not going to help you at all.

See here's the thing, you fuckin' dumb cunt, none of "us people" would be stupid enough to shack up with a violent thug and if we did we'd have sufficient brains to smother him in his sleep.

Here's hoping someone smothers you in your sleep.

MtD

 
At Thu Sep 13, 03:55:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger knitonepurltwo said...

Your defense that this is an ill-considered rant does not stand. I believe it was you who was the first to mention research:


Naturally there's "research" to back all this up. Some studies claim that up to 25% of lesbian relationships are violent with that figure rising to 29% for gay men. Of course the sample sizes from these learned academic papers can be counted on two hands. But someone graduated with second class honours on the strength of them, so it's proof indisputable.


Just because this is "just" a blog does not mean it's incapable of affecting the views of others. Look at those who who responded positively to your argument. That is no way to defend the wrong and prejudicial things you've said.

Domestic violence is not about stupidity. You are obviously blind to Anonymous' point.

 
At Thu Sep 13, 03:58:00 PM GMT+10, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Oh you've really changed my mind. Your absoulutly right. Wait where was your argument exactly, i couldnt see it between all the pointless insults and defensive behaviour. I guess im too dumb ill just have to read it again.

And while your making vast resounding statements about my intellect you might try to get my gender right.

I hope you have a really fulfilling life and some really satistfying relationships. I dont think ill be back, there really isnt anything stimulating here be it intellectually or sexually. Oh, nice porn.

 
At Thu Sep 13, 05:55:00 PM GMT+10, Blogger Matty the Damned said...

Matty the Damned loves the intahwebs, it provides him with an endless supply of dead-shits to bastinado.

Take the two most recent worthies to blunder in here with their mangled opinions. We've had some lightweights join the Commentariat over the years but these two intellectual hoboes are just too cute. You've got to admire the way they whizz about the place like a couple of demented Catherine Wheels.

I checked out the blog written by knitonepurltwo and surprise, surprise - he , she or it is a fan of "avant garde film".

'nuff said really. Except to add that it's good you've come over here to the Cycle to see how a real blog works, Knit.

We've got actual readers who comment and everything. Something for you to aspire to, eh?

As for Anonymous, despite her protestations she'll always come back. If it's not to drool over Bucko's erotic stylings, it'll be to jerk off to Matty the Damned's particular brand of truth.

So boo and hiss all you want you fuckwits, no matter how much it offends you - you know I'm right.

MtD

 
At Mon Oct 01, 09:29:00 AM GMT+10, Anonymous Kelly said...

Bucko,
So sorry to read about your staph infection. My husband had a staph infection a year ago and it was not fun. Take care of yourself and get well soon. Love you!
Kel

 
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You're an idiot.....it's clear to me how and why you've wound up in your current life situation....sick fucking minds make sick fucking life choices and end up in fucked situations.....and for the record, it's much more likely that your 315lb, 6'8" muscle bound leather man would be shanked by a tweaked out aussie meth head drag queen! Keep your racist rantings inside your sick fucking head you disease-addled moron.

 
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