The art of accepting love.

The art of accepting love.

I am so good at giving love. Ask anyone.
You know , the “ as long as you are ok, I am ok” stuff?
Ask me how to hug? I will give you a list of 132 different hugs and how to administer them.
You want to learn love in body language? Sure, I have starters , advanced and master classes. Internship included.
You have never been able to open up your heart? Herman is the right person to teach you every single detail in opening up heart and chakras.
Need an update on “how to surprise your lover” in the most inventive ways? Plug yourself in and download it, at your convenience.
Ran out of cosy names : boxes full of them in my room.
Searching for yet another position in bed to please and tease your partner? Try me.

Why is it then, that I am such a bad receiver in all of the above named business?

Why is it that I feel I have no right to receive without giving?

Why can I not lay back and say “ have it your way with me, please me”?

Why am I a big mouth when talking about giving love universally and not include myself?

Why can I not accept to be loved and wonder “Why me”?

Why is it so hard to be receptive and so easy to be giving?


Could it be a lack of self love?
The idea that my HIV body is rotting away and who could love me then?
That my heart is infected too?

I guess I was raised to give, as part of my then catholic belief. My mom always thought me that sharing whatever you possess is the only true way in life.

When I came back from the Toronto aidsmeds gathering, I was glowing with energy and tingling with love.
It had been so easy to accept love. Why there? Why then?
HIV was the key that opened my heart to the love of others.
The ugly HIV finally brought me a gift.

And now, every night, I lay in bed and open up my heart for all the hugs that I received.
One by one I accept the declarations of pure, spiritual, compassionate love.
Because I have finally included myself in the universal loving.

“It is ok, I understand, I am positive too”. Rocky on the Toronto gathering.

Herman